Ground Hog Day meets Tough Love

Have you ever seen that movie "Ground Hog Day" with Bill Murray. In the movie Bill keeps repeating the same day over and over and over. Humor was the premise behind "Ground Hog Day." Not so much in the 'over and over and over' surrounding the repetition of destructive behaviors.

Our senior pastor has said time and time again, when your feet are pointed in the wrong direction and you keep going that way, you're never going to find yourself going the right direction. I think that when your feet are constantly pointed in the wrong direction, not only will you continue to make bad decisions in your life but you likely to repeat your bad decisions over and over.

Just yesterday I, well my wife and I, were faced with making one of those 'do the next right thing' decisions concerning one of our adult children. And like the deciding punch in a boxing match, it just knocked us flat.

How are you suppose to respond to another (the 4th to be exact) call of desperation when you haven't seen any change in the behaviors that have repeatedly led to the same results....especially when its your own child!

It's so hard when the decision, the right decision, isn't the most easy and accomodating choice when it comes to your children. Where as a parent do you draw the line? When do you know its time to say "I love you" but I not going to enable you and let continue down the track that you can't seem get off. How many times do you fix them? Tough love is not easy love.

Over the course of a year or more we worked side by side and made countless attempts to help rectify the habits that inevitably led to his path of destruction. Regular appointments were kept and accountability was in place. However tenacious our efforts may have been, they weren't enough to cause a change that would carry over into his living on his own..

There are a rollercoaster of emotions flowing through me today. I peak with hope and plummet with dismay. What twist will the next corner bring? He's my son. I want no more than the absolute best for him. I'm sad. I'm terrified. I'm worried. I'm angry. Emotions, however, can no longer rule what I know in my heart is the right thing to do.

Other parents we know have had to deal with situations very similar to ours. We've consulted and we've prayed. We knew we had to make one of those decisions where your head is telling you to do one thing but your heart is telling you to do the exact opposite. As difficult as it was we weren't bailing him out this time. It hurt, but it was right.

Feet pointed in the wrong direction and make the associated habits with that direction hard to break. We'll be there if he wants to discuss his issues. We'll be there for guidance and direction. But, no longer will we enable to travel the the path he continues to follow.

We haven't heard from him in days. I don't know what his plans are for the future. I have no idea how he feels about us. My heart aches for him. But most of all I love him.