The Men's Room

So....Lori and I both had Friday off so we decided to eat lunch out at one of our favorite places, Jimmy Johns. We usually go the the one located on Main Street in Mishawaka but today we opted for the on the corner of Ironwood and South Bend Avenue because we wanted to stop in and see our oldest son who works at the Martin's Supermarket accross the street after we ate.

Not only does Jimmy Johns have great sandwiches for a resonable price, but they have the best kettle cooked chips I've ever ate. So of course I always 'combo' my meal. Gotta have those chips and Diet Coke. Bad thing about caffienated diet pop is that, for me anyway, about as quickly as it goes in it wants out. And of course with free refills on pop, I get usually get my moneys worth.

We wrapped up our lunch date and headed out to the car to drive over to Martins. When we got back to the produce area where our son works it hit me. I had to go to the bathroom, NOW! One of the other store clerks was trying to locate our son so I told Lori that I was going to go use the bathroom while they were looking.

This is not a small store when you have to go to the bathroom really bad. The public restrooms were way up in the front of the store and the store was packed with people. So here I am trying to get to front of the store weaving and bobbing around people as best as I can without knocking them down. Of course, I'm detatained about every 10 paces by these 'foodies' who are oblivious of my far more important issue of needing relief.

I finally reach the front of the store and see the the sign for the restrooms. I quickly push open the first door I saw only thinking of how badly I needed to go to the bathroom. As I entered I thought it was odd that the mens room didnt have a urinal but shrugged it off and went into the second stall as the first was occupied. When I finshed my business and walked out to wash my hands there it was as big as life, the MAXIPAD MACHINE. You ever see one of those cartoons where the cartoon characters eyes bug out of its head and you hear the 'aahhhoooga' horn sound. Well thats what went off in my head. I'm in the womens room!!!! I freaked!

Just about then I heard a noise and my eyes turned to the latch on the occupied stall. Life went into slo-mo! The latch turned on the occupied stall was turning. In a slow and slurred manner the words "IT'S OPENING..OOOOOOOHHHHH NO! were screaming in my brain. My mind quickly reverted from slo-mo to realtime and I bolted from the 'womens' room not knowing if they saw me or not.

After I was in the clear and about 1/2 way back to where I left Lori I bent over and just started cracking up. I couldn't believe I had just used the womens restroom and didnt even know I was in there.

When I got back to Lori I said you won't believe what I just did. She guessed a couple of obscure things but I told her she was wrong. I told her I just used the womens rest room and didnt even know I was in there until I saw the maxi pad machine. Her jaw hit the floor and she cracked up.

We spent the afternoon shopping and of course whenever we ran into someone we knew Lori would be sure to have them ask me about the bathrooms in the Martins Supermarket. The more that I told the story the funnier it got.

As we were driving home after dinner, Lori turned to me and said "Think about the next woman who must have went into that stall at Martins and wondered why on earth the lid was up!"