Mouse Hunt Bob and Lori style

We've had telltale signs of an unwanted visitor in our house for about the last month. It's hard to get rid something you never see. However, we were determined and strategically placed Decon throughout the attic, house, basement and garage. Be very quiet, we're hunting a mouse!

It seemed as though it had been a few days since Lori had reported finding any of our unwanted borders 'calling cards.' I was hopeful that it had either left or died. I hadn't been real excited about putting the DECON anywhere in the house (especially the attic) because I figured if the stupid thing ate it and died up there who knows if we'd ever find it. The snap of a trap is music to my ears cuz you know exactly where it's at and the disposal is cut and dry.

We had gone out to dinner Saturday night and arrived back at the house around 9 pm. Lori said she'd feed the dog if I'd go upstairs and turn the bed back. I ventured upstairs but after just finishing two very large diet cokes I thought visiting the bathroom was a better idea than turning the bed down.

I went into the bathroom and reached down to lift the seat. Obviously I wasn't the last one to go the bathroom or the seat would have been up. I looked down I saw something brown and thought to myself 'how gross, who didn't flush?' but then the brown thing moved. I did a double take. When I looked back into the bowl, what I thought was, excuse my french, a turd, looked back at me! It was a fat little brown mouse with the biggest eyes you've ever seen. I dropped the seat and lid to the toilet and walked back out into the hall. I called to Lori come upstairs right away.

While I was waiting for Lori to come upstairs (to save the day) I began to wonder how this rodent got in the toilet. Earlier that morning I had removed the cover to the ceiling light in our bathroom. Lori had been convinced that the mouse was living in the attic and when I removed the cover that was confirmed. 'Calling cards' were in the plastic fixture. I began to envision what must have happened to the mouse....

The bathroom is pitch black and then some twine drops from the light fixture. Moments later a ray of light no bigger than a pin shines through and the mouse, with a mouse-size flashlight in his mouth, begins his covert mission down the twine. He's almost reached a point where he can drop to the floor without injuring himself when we get home and he hears the door open from the garage. Not being a mouse experienced in espionage, and kind of clutsy as well, he looses his grip and falls into the toilet. Plop! Thinking he wouldn't be seen if he kept himself near the inside edge of the bowl, he forgets that he needs to be perpendicular with the edge and realizes that when the light goes on and 1/2 of his body is exposed....calling on his method acting classes...he begins to think I'm a turd,I'm a turd....

Lori came running upstairs and came into the bathroom where I was standing with a dumfounded look on my face. I shook myself back into reality and my first words to her were 'how are we going to get it out of there?' Of course my first thought was to flush the little bugger, but was quick to rationalize that that would probably just plug up the toilet and we'd have a worse mess.

Lori wanted to see the mouse so we slowly lifted the lid and there he was, big as life staring right back at us. Then he started to run around the inside edge toilet trying to escape, slipping down into the water and then back around the edge again. We closed the lid and just looked at each other. How are we going to get it out of there?

Per Lori's suggestion, I went down to the kitchen and got a trash bag. When I got back to the bathroom Lori had gone into 'take charge' mode. She said close the bathroom door and she'd roll up the bathroom rug and stuff it along the bottom of the door so if it escaped the toilet it. I wasn't sure if I was suppose to salute or ask what she wanted me to do with this trash bag? I opted to ask about the bag. She said lets slide it under the lids but over the top of the toilet. So we start to do this and I'm thinking 'do you think it's just going to jump into the bag for us?' I said 'just how are we suppose to get it into this bag?'

I saw the toilet brush and grabbed it thinking I could push the mouse into the bag with the brush and pulled the bag back and stuck the brush in. Well, not so much. It was like the thing was on a mini race track. It was going around and around the bowl at the speed of light. I pulled the brush out and said that wasn't going to work.

Lori spotted the a box from my contact solution in the bathroom trash a pulled it out and folded the flaps in. I looked at her and asked her what she was going to do with that? She pulled the bag back and was trying to scoop up the mouse with the box. But I think the speed of the mouse and the fact that she's a girl freaked her out and she couldn't catch him. Being the man and protector (yeah right) I took the box from her and chased the mouse around until I had finally scooped it into the box. I shoved the box into the bottom of the bag and closed the bag at the top. Lori looked at me and said....'so that won't work, huh!'

"What are you going to do with it?" asked Lori as I was leaving the bathroom. "You aren't going to kill it are you? It has the biggest, cutest eyes!" I said no, I'll just take out to the back of the yard and let it go. "Oh no, you can't do that it will just find it's way back into the house" she said. "Ok, what then?" I responded. She didn't say anything so I made my way downstairs. I decided to just put it in the trash can behind the garage. I didn't think it could get out of the very deep trash can and figured it was the only option I had. I came back in and told Lori what I'done and that was that.

This morning Lori confessed that she had to fight the urge to not go get the bag out of the trash and drive it out into the country during the night. Girls!